‘I had to stop in a layby every day on my way to school to be sick’, she told a group of us at a conference. She spoke with little emotion, as though there was nothing unusual about her body’s extreme reaction to a particularly challenging headship.

Many stories told to me in confidence verify that headship can lead to burnout – and that’s in ordinary times.

The way in which CEOs and headteachers have responded to the demands of Covid19 has been awe-inspiring. In many cases they have reasserted schools’ position at the heart of their local community. In the absence of clear and timely guidance from higher authority, they have taken control of the agenda and done what feels right. But there is no crystal ball. Even with extensive risk assessment, there is no such thing as 100% certainty. Holding in your hands the future of the nation’s children and young people is a daunting responsibility at the best of times. All leaders know the importance of spreading positivity. It is easy to underestimate the emotional energy that takes in times of great uncertainty when perhaps your partner/parent/child is shielding, or in hospital, or in a care home: leaders give so much to their schools it’s easy to forget that they have another life.

Scientists refer to the practice of hiding how we really feel as ‘surface acting: hiding’. It is correlated with lower job satisfaction, poorer wellbeing and greater likelihood of burnout than other methods of dealing with incongruity. A random scan of twitter on June 15^th bears this out. Although in the public domain, I have removed the authors’ names.

We, and the leaders themselves, need to take seriously the real danger of burnout. Leaders are expected to be resilient, and too often this is interpreted to mean keeping going whatever happens. Such an interpretation only adds to the feeling of failure for those who are struggling.  It is significant that the option of seeking help in the survey above is associated only with the greatest likelihood of burnout. I’d like to encourage leaders to seek help before they are finding the role unsustainable. The further you fall, the harder it is to climb back up.

A focus on emotional resilience demands that we notice, recognise and accept our emotions. A build-up of stress (adrenalin & cortisol) means we are constantly in fight, flight or freeze mode. That’s a dangerous place to be.  Pressure mounts until – like an unexploded bomb – a minor jolt sets off the explosion. We need to find a way to diffuse the bomb safely.  A build-up of adrenalin is likely to demand a physical response – whether that’s deep breathing to slow the heart rate, energetic exercise to satisfy the ‘flight’ instinct, using a punch-bag to satisfy the urge to fight, or something different that you have found works for you.  As with most things, prevention is better than cure.  Just as you wouldn’t drive for days on end without stopping to refuel your car, neither can you expect your body to keep on keeping on, without refuelling your resilience reservoir.  Leaders often feel isolated with their anxiety and stress;  the fact is that you are not alone. Notice how you are feeling, physically and emotionally. Just 5 minutes a day to pause, acknowledge and re-set will help to prevent being overwhelmed. Seek support.  Share your private despair with someone you trust and make space to breathe again.

The post Emotional resilience and burnout first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.

In the age of lockdown, Zoom has been a lifesaver for keeping in touch with friends and colleagues, but don’t expect to replicate ‘common-place’ meetings.  Given that virtual work meetings look as though they’re going to be with us for some time to come, it might be worth considering what we can do to make ‘zooming’ (other platforms are available) as stress-free and productive as possible.

From wondering how we could come together apart, we have reached a stage where clicking on zoom invitations, muting ourselves when not speaking, live chats to one or many, have all become second nature. So – a work meeting in your diary scheduled pre-lockdown?  No problem: just run it via Zoom, Google hangouts, Microsoft teams, or one of a myriad of other offerings. Simples.

Following the euphoria at finding a platform which seems to fill at least a little of the chasm left by social distancing (or more accurately, social spacing)  some of us are now suffering from what I’ve just discovered from reading the National Geographic is known as ‘zoom fatigue’.  The article outlines some of the reasons why you could find virtual interaction more tiring than you might expect. I’ve been doing a little research of my own, and considering how we might respond to, and handle, the extra challenge posed by operating in a virtual world.

First of all, anxiety levels: they’re heightened in the current environment (when else have we been given a daily update on illness and death?)  Uncertainty and existential angst are great breeders of anxiety. Then, when did you ever go to a meeting in the old world and wonder whether you’d be able to open the door, see the other people in the room, concern yourself with the state of your home, or worry that you would be invisible?

When you join a group in a space for the first time, you observe how others behave and take your cue from them. So what happens when the social norms of the face-to-face group are transported into a different space?  Have we talked about how we want to be together, and what the expectations are? No?  More uncertainty.  Is everyone equally familiar with the platform, and if not, what support might be given BEFORE the meeting? (Having everyone giving you instructions at the same time concerning what you should do to unmute yourself, for example, is as confusing as driving a car with two navigators – more anxiety).

We are social animals and crave human interaction. When we interact online we miss the ‘gathering chatter’ we generally have when we seat ourselves next to someone in a room. It helps us to tune in to the people round the room, and to change gear from wherever we’ve been, to focus on the matter in hand. That can’t happen in an online group in the same way, because only one person can be heard at a time;  everyone tunes in to the same conversation. The alternative – using the chat box to connect with individuals – is a distraction from greeting others as they arrive. Other hazards are that everyone may hear the click-clacking of your keyboard, and there’s always the danger of sending a personal message to everyone, or to the wrong person, with undesirable results.

Human touch – a hug or a handshake – encourages the production of oxytocin, a hormone which stimulates positive social connections. That’s missing in the virtual world.  Smiling helps social interaction. With a large number of people on the screen at once, that’s hard to discern. The National Geographic article points to the extra energy we spend trying to compensate for the non-verbal clues we’re used to being able to depend on to gauge what others are thinking and feeling.  Something else that is curtailed in the virtual world is resonance ‘a felt sense of energy, rhythm, or intuitive knowing that occurs in a group of human beings and positively affects the way they interact toward a common purpose’. You’ll know the feeling of instant connection when you meet someone for the first time and intuitively feel that you can trust them: that’s resonance in operation. Online meetings require more concentration: thus they’re more tiring.

If these aspects of virtual professional life make meetings more difficult, is there anything we can do to minimise the additional stress?

1. Be disciplined – and encourage others to be disciplined – concerning how many zoom meetings you attend or schedule in a day. I am relatively used to virtual coaching, but on the day when I coached two clients, both of whom were in a state of high emotional distress, I knew I’d stretched myself too far.
2. Just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should.  Are you sure you need to meet? Be clear about the purpose of the meeting, and don’t assume everyone knows what it is. Priya Parker, author The Art of Gathering talked in a recent TED interview of considering ‘What is the need for this community at this time?’ Is it a meeting, or is it something else?  Does everyone need to be there for all of it?  Is it largely an update meeting (in which case, would asynchronous interaction work better)?  Are you expecting decisions to be made after discussion? How much time has everyone for the meeting? Have you signalled in advance when the meeting will end? As it is more tiring to meet in the virtual world, consider whether it’s right to reduce the duration from what you might expect in the real world.
3. How do we feel about letting people into our homes? Has everyone a similarly appropriate space? Again, Priya Parker talks about the difference between choosing to share something about your home environment with work colleagues, and being forced to. Quite apart from the distraction provided by seeing into individuals’ homes, is it better for the group if everyone chooses to display the same virtual background? Might an audio only meeting be preferable? Many years ago I was having an initial meeting with a woman who – from the waist up, anyway – was dressed for business. I was somewhat distracted by a man in a bathrobe shambling through her kitchen, showing considerable interest in what was on her screen.
4. Take time to review a) the technology and b) the process. How did the technology work for everyone? Was there unwanted background noise? Did you gain permission up-front to mute everyone if needed? What was the quality of video and audio for everyone? If not good, are there settings that can be changed to help next time? And b) the process: I confess I have a bit of a thing about this, even in the non-virtual world. We make the decisions and feel we’ve done the job. What about how we interacted? Were we living our values? Did everyone have an opportunity to contribute? Did everyone feel heard? What was the effect of distance?
5. If you are chairing the meeting, ask someone else to keep an eye out for people who wish to speak. Participants can’t catch your eye, and you can easily miss a virtual raised hand or message in the chat box while also trying to gauge others’ responses to what you are saying. Is it better to be able to see everyone, to see the speaker only, or should you change views at different times during the meeting?
6. Provide space at the outset for people to alert others to any particular issues (including such things as, ‘I have to leave at a particular time’ ‘I’m expecting a phone call: forgive me, I’ll walk away to take it’ or even ‘I’m at home on my own with the children and might be a little distracted’ evident in the exchange below)
7. In the same vein, on leaving a meeting, make sure you really have disconnected from the group before you speak to anyone else. Give yourself some space at the end of a meeting before rushing on to the next job. In a traditional setting, the journey back to your own desk (whether short or long) provides a break which allows you to turn off and re-focus. That doesn’t happen if you remain in front of your computer and just keep on keeping on.
8. Cut everyone some slack. These are difficult times and we’re having to deal with a great many changes. Don’t expect people (including yourself) to be as productive as they would be in the non-virtual world.

References

National Geographic Article:  https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/science-and-technology/2020/04/zoom-fatigue-is-taxing-the-brain-heres-why-that-happens

Priya Parker: https://www.ted.com/talks/priya_parker_how_to_create_meaningful_connections_while_apart

or

https://www.ted.com/talks/priya_parker_3_steps_to_turn_everyday_get_togethers_into_transformative_gatherings#t-105345

Resonance

http://www.resonanceproject.org/execsum.cfm?pt=0#introduction

The post It’s life, but not as we know it: virtual meetings in lockdown first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.

This is a scene that we’ve traditionally seen occasionally at Christmas, yet it’s becoming a feature of our daily life familiar in the current crisis.  It might easily be dismissed as evidence of greed or selfishness.  I think of it more as a symptom of fear. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that if you have an empty cupboard and a family to feed, you’re going to do all you can to fulfil your responsibility to keep them safe. I wonder, though, if it goes deeper. Being isolated has given me an opportunity to think about what’s driving our need to panic-buy.

I have found myself trying to understand what many have called ‘selfish’ from a different perspective. Richard Barrett’s 7 levels of human consciousness model helps. He uses it in his book Liberating the Corporate Soul to demonstrate the connection between our consciousness and our values. It works for individuals as well as for organisations.

You might recognise the lower levels if you know Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.  Richard has taken Maslow’s model as a foundation. He categorises needs in this way:

• Basic: something that is important to get, have or have more of, in order to feel safe, happy and comfortable in your existing physical and social environment

and

• Growth needs: something you would like to have in order to feel a sense of internal alignment—at ease or at peace with yourself—and a sense of meaning, by making a positive contribution in your world.

The basic needs are at levels 1-4; the growth needs, 5-7.

Barrett identifies the different levels as being either part of the survival self (driven by fear: levels 1-3) or part of the soul self (driven by love: levels 5-7).  Level 4 is about transformation, when we let go of fears of not having enough or not being enough, and concentrate on what makes us feel whole.  When our survival needs (physical, emotional and psychological) are not met, we unconsciously act out of fear.

Acting out of fear almost certainly accounts for some of the panic buying that appears to have become a feature in places recently. We have repeatedly been given the message that there is enough, and yet not everyone hears it.  I wonder whether fears surrounding our physical survival needs, such as not having enough food (or toilet rolls – really?) are more easily triggered when we also fear that our emotional needs are not met.

Human babies rely on their parents for their survival. They communicate their survival needs (food, warmth, comfort, shelter) by crying. Who hasn’t sat up at night with a crying baby wondering what s/he needs when we’ve tried all the obvious things? If my needs as a baby were consistently misinterpreted or ignored during such a crucial period in brain development, my brain becomes wired for rejection and worthlessness. In adulthood I am less likely to feel protected and loved; my relationships suffer and I fear I’m not good enough (and who doesn’t, once in a while?); to quote Brené Brown, at these times, we fear we’re not worthy of love and belonging.

Barrett maintains that we need to pay attention to all levels of consciousness; gaps in the lower levels may get in the way of our achieving the higher levels.  According to Barrett, if we lose consciousness or ignore of our own needs and focus solely on the higher levels of meeting the common good, when adversity strikes we ‘descend into fear and react with I-based behaviours’  (Barrett, 2010:138).  This holds good for both our physical and our emotional/psychological needs. The fear of not having enough is closely aligned with the fear of not being enough and vice versa. When we live with an unconscious fear of not being enough, perhaps our judgement concerning when we have enough (food, material goods etc) becomes clouded.

Levels 5 and 6 are where we are called to operate in the current crisis. We want meaning and purpose (which is why meaningful work is so important to us) and we are driven to make a difference.  But this needs not to be at the expense of being conscious of our own survival needs.

In this period of social distancing and self-isolation, maybe we could find a moment to understand ourselves a little better, in order to build firm foundations for connecting with others and building the social capital that will take us beyond the current crisis and into a new way of being.

References

Barrett, R.(1998) Liberating the Corporate Soul. Woburn, MA: Butterworth-Heinemann

Helpful resources

Brown, B. (2010) The Gifts of Imperfection. Center City, Minnesota: Hazelden

ARVE Error: Mode: lazyload not available (ARVE Pro not active?), switching to normal mode

The post Having enough first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.

Sunday evening sees this twitter activity

Sustaining resilience is all about developing helpful habits.

Monday morning: I’m pretty well prepared for my trip to a conference in Manchester.  All I have to do is to pack my suitcase and organise lunch.  I unplug my phone from its charger and turn it on.  The usual Samsung message appears, followed by ..

Nothing

Zero

Nada

Hmm.  What’s happening here?  I’m conscious of the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. With limited success I’m trying hard to breathe deeply to turn on the parasympathetic nervous system which tells my body that I really don’t need to panic.

An hour later: I’m scrabbling through the drawer, trying to find my previous phone. After a bit of origami, I manage to adapt my current sim so that it fits the slot on my old phone.  Hooray! Panic subsiding, I start to use my phone.  Then I remember why I ditched it in the first place: the touch screen no longer works.

Two hours later: Time is ticking by. What else can I try?  I find an old phone, the original sim and the charger.  The charger is working: I’ll soon be in touch with the world again. The world has other ideas: ‘Sim not registered’ says the message. I need to finish packing. I have to acknowledge that I’m going to have to travel to an unknown city without my usual mobile map, and remain disconnected from family and colleagues for three-and-a-half days.

Once I realise this I become calmer.  I email a colleague I’m meant to be meeting during the week and tell him I won’t be able to text my arrival time; email others who might need to get in touch and tell them it’s email or nothing. When I reach the hotel, I realise I have no idea how to work the alarm on my ancient analogue clock.  Thankfully, the hotel has a wake up service. I leave the upmarket hotel in Manchester. My next commitment requires a move to Stoke-on-Trent where the hotel doesn’t have a phone, let alone a wake-up service. Driven by necessity, I work out how to set my alarm.

On Friday, back home, I pick up a new phone. Phew; back in touch. But wait: the universe has one further lesson for me.  At the weekend I’m visiting my mother, who has managed her 95 years without ever connecting to wifi. My mobile data isn’t working.  It’s surprisingly liberating to leave my phone in my room rather than my back pocket, where I’m tempted to check it in an idle moment.  When smoking in public places was common, many people would light up because it gave them something to do with their hands.  I have a sneaking feeling that mobiles have taken over this function.

At the conference I attended in Manchester, a headteacher spoke about her student ‘digital ambassadors’ instituting a 3-day phone fast for students, which staff voluntarily joined. They’re now working on an ‘on/off campaign’ to encourage students to ask themselves ‘do I really need my mobile phone on at the moment?’ This is a question I will be asking myself in future. It’s 6.57 a.m. and my phone is off.  I’ll turn it on when I start work today, and turn it off as a signal that I’m finishing.  I’ve been through the first 3 stages of the 4 As and resolved to take ACTION.  With the help of those who wish to join me in the #phonefastchallenge, I hope to be able to ADHERE to my new habit and benefit from switching off from work when I can, adding focus to tasks not interrupted by bleeps and pings which tell me someone is paying me attention.

Join me?

The post Too many emails? Can’t switch off? Time for a #phonefast first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.

Why had I not seen until that moment, that the social ineptitude was merely an extreme version of what most of us carry with us – a survival strategy?  Survival strategies come in many forms – some of them more obvious than others.  When we see engagement in self-destructive activity (over-eating or drinking, reliance on drugs) they are fairly easy to spot.   The truth is, any of us can engage in unconscious survival strategies. Exercise, work, diet, adherence to ritual, tidiness, being well organised – any of these,  can be used to keep us save from whatever we fear.

The survival strategies I am talking about are those which we unconsciously adopt to allow us to function in the world.  In Eleanor’s case, we see her tendency to judge others in order to verify that it is they who are out of step rather than herself; her fierce protection of her own way of life as ‘a self-contained entity’; her drinking to dull the pain of reality, her own self-judgement: the voice of her inner critic.

We know that Eleanor Oliphant was a model student.  While I might, if I met her, think that she has autism, I would not guess at her dark past, hinted at long before it is ever revealed.  Her well-honed survival strategies have allowed her to function in the world while keeping the memory of her own traumatic past well hidden.

Professor Franz Ruppert points to the impact of our earliest experiences on our behaviour as adults.  When I say ‘early’ I mean from conception onwards.  He identifies trauma as ‘a discrepancy between threatening situational factors and the individual’s coping capacities, that is associated with feelings of helplessness and the lack of any protection, thus creating a permanent instability of the self concept and the perception of the world.’  To flourish, a baby needs food, warmth, love, connection.  He cannot serve his own needs so experiences the lack of nurture as life-threatening trauma. If he is to survive he has to find a way to live with the trauma without constantly feeling it.  What the infant does is what many of us do when experiencing something uncomfortable, we dissociate from the experience.  The baby’s brain is not sufficiently formed for him consciously to dissociate, however.  The only way to survive the traumatic experience is to split off from the traumatised part and keep it hidden.

Spoiler alert: this reveals the ending of the book

Eleanor has suffered significant trauma, probably even before the fire.  From what we know of her mother, it appears that she was not attentive or encouraging.  Eleanor’s survival strategies, outlined above, have not only kept her traumatised self hidden, but also diminished her healthy self – the self which is ready to engage with the world from a position of strength and knowing herself as an autonomous being able to respond to her own needs. When she reaches rock bottom and subsequently engages in therapy, she is gradually able to allow some of her traumatised self to emerge so that memories become integrated and there is no more need for some of the survival strategies.  She is able to operate more autonomously, not limited by the ‘rules’ she has unconsciously given herself.

Her journey is one which many of us might make – to a greater or lesser extent.  From the very beginning of life, we may unconsciously develop survival strategies which allow us to function in our environment – even in the womb, where the mother’s anxiety – signalled by increased cortisol which is passed via the placenta to the baby – becomes the baby’s anxiety.  The baby cannot escape from the heightened anxiety, so he dissociates from it, keeping it hidden, allowing less access to his healthy self.  His brain develops on hyper-alert for he has learned that his environment is threatening.  (For more on this concept, see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtt-62U9XYs. The film is available for hire)

This is no doubt what Belinda Harris[1] refers to when she calls for school leaders to have ‘deep inner awareness’  (p5).  She points to the importance of self-awareness, but goes beyond the ‘recognising our own feelings’ to describe a deep self-knowledge which involves embracing not just those aspects of our personality that are culturally acceptable, but also

‘The more neglected aspects of self, such as the vulnerable self that is hidden behind learned defences and the shadow self (Jung and von Franz, 1964) that is often denied until it erupts in protest at times of stress to damage self and others’ (Harris, 2007: 51)

Keeping  our trauma hidden so that we can function saps energy: energy that could more helpfully be used in supporting our resilience and wellbeing.  When we recognise our survival strategies for what they are, we see we have a choice concerning whether we continue to live in their shadow, or come out into the sunshine and be the free and autonomous person we were intended to be.  It is a lifetime’s work, but surely one worth engaging in if we are to be able to give of our best as leaders.

[1] Harris, B. (2007) Supporting the Emotional Work of School Leaders. London, UK: Paul Chapman

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In case you’ve forgotten that there ever was a strategic school improvement fund,  Alix Robertson of Schools Week reported it thus

The strategic school improvement fund was first introduced by the education secretary Justine Greening in November 2016, as part of a package of resources to support the school system and encourage greater collaboration between academies and maintained schools. The amount available is expected to double to £280 million over the next two years.

In December 2016, Sir David Carter, the national schools commissioner, said the new fund showed a shift in the government’s approach from “mass conversion to mass improvement”.

BTSA were among the 56 successful applicants in the first tranche of awards, and the project has been running for 9 months.  Today the windows are open and the blinds rattle slightly as the breeze drifts across the room.  Long before outdoor learning was an accepted way of engaging children, before Ofsted and SATs and Damian Hinds, I was at primary school.  On days like this we would ask ‘can we have the lesson outside?’ and if the teacher was feeling indulgent, we would sit on the grass and listen to story-time in the last lesson of the afternoon. It feels like high summer, yet it’s four full weeks to the end of term.  There is no sense that this group is losing focus.

I first met the group in February when the project was new to them all.  Learning in a group like this makes participants feel vulnerable; that was evident on our first meeting.  There is a tendency to believe that everyone else has got it cracked. We worry that asking a question will reveal our ignorance.  During the first project leaders’ day the group facilitator, Bill Jerman, skilfully made it safe. He frequently interspersed his comments with ‘you all know this, but do your staff?’ thus sharing his considerable expertise without asking individuals to reveal their lack of knowledge.  Participants were invited to share their practice; a few did. It was evident that there was a wide range of knowledge in the room.   What everyone had in common was their determination to ‘understand the gap’ (the title of the conference which opened the project) knowing that we cannot change something we don’t understand.

Until we can truly imagine what it is like to be uncertain whether you will get home to find that your Dad or Mum has just been made redundant for the third time in a year; to be uncertain whether there will be anything to eat for tea; to be anxious that the brother with whom you share your PE kit may have forgotten to bring it home from his school, which will mean you get a detention tomorrow for not having it; to long for space of your own in the bedroom which you share with 3 siblings; we cannot embrace the reality:  statistics regarding academic outcomes are useful and important, but addressing disadvantage is about far more than academic outcomes and extra maths lessons.

What a difference four months has made!  Today there is an energetic buzz in the room. Some have evidently met each other during one of the many professional opportunities that this project has to offer.  They are keen to share what they have achieved and to learn from each others’ experiences.

We have some reminders from the front of the room and spend some time discussing the engagement of parents.  What language do you use?  How does your website help?  Colourful flyers and leaflets have been used productively in some schools.

When participants are asked to share their successes, I pin back my ears.  This is what I’m here to learn:  what difference has the project made?  I am not disappointed, as the following are among the changes in practice which participants share (I paraphrase):

• Swap lengthy marking for ‘just in time’ planning, which responds to the learning that has taken place that day. We’ve noticed work is much more appropriate for each child as a result and the teachers are happier not to be spending hours marking.
• Don’t make the assumption that all students have someone to talk to, warns one participant.   We’ve used PP money for mentoring training for those adults in the school who are up for it, so that individual pupils in receipt of pupil premium have someone to talk to.
• We have an ‘enable table’ where pupils opt to sit if they need a bit of help, volunteers one.
• Use the ‘5 whys’ approach to help understand barriers to learning, suggests another.

My favourite will forever be one participant’s reflection on making a cup of tea.

We used to set different objectives for different abilities.  One of my colleagues described it as though we had a staged approach to making a cup of tea.  Those with the highest prior attainment were expected to make the cup of tea.  Others could go as far as learning to put the teabag in the cup, fill the kettle and turn it on, but stopped short of pouring boiling water into the cup; some were expected to put the teabag in the cup and the cold water in the kettle, but not actually turn on the electrical supply (too dangerous for them). Those who had struggled in the past were required only to find the teabag and put it in the cup.  Now, she said, triumphantly, everyone is required to make a cup of tea; we just put more support in for those who need it.

I could go on sharing.  I’m happy to say that the participants are doing so.  It is a model of how teaching schools can use their expertise to grow the understanding and knowledge across a whole region. ‘Don’t treat pupils in receipt of pupil premium as a homogeneous group’, we are warned by Bill.   The enthusiastic and skilled central team in charge of this project have carried that approach through to the schools they are working with.  They are determined to be as responsive to each individual school, as we should be to each individual child.  Sadly, despite the promise of two years’ SSIF funding, it appears there will be no more. There has been an eloquent silence concerning the second £140 million expected in year 2. The education fund is stretched to breaking point and money to fund the recently-declared and well-deserved teachers’ pay award had to come from somewhere.

I seem to remember hearing these words almost exactly two years ago …

If you’re a white, working-class boy, you’re less likely than anybody else in Britain to go to university.

If you’re at a state school, you’re less likely to reach the top professions than if you’re educated privately.

If you’re a woman, you will earn less than a man. If you suffer from mental health problems, there’s not enough help to hand. …

… If you’re from an ordinary working class family, life is much harder than many people in Westminster realise. You have a job but you don’t always have job security. You have your own home, but you worry about paying a mortgage. You can just about manage but you worry about the cost of living and getting your kids into a good school….’

I understand there is no magic money tree.  I understand that cost of the teachers’ pay award has to come from somewhere.  I do not know a teacher who does not want to  ‘make Britain a country that works for everyone ‘ but please, Mrs May, help us to ‘build a better Britain’ and allow us to plan strategically with guaranteed funding in to the future.  Education cannot operate as a gig economy.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and are not intended to represent those of the Beach Teaching School Alliance or anyone involved in the project.

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I guess it helped that it was my second session working with the teachers at Bishop Henderson Church of England Primary School.  They were open and honest and working with them was a joy.  I was reminded again that, although every context is different, there are many common themes concerning what gets in the way of teachers looking after themselves. It’s always a challenge to speak openly about what we may regard as our own inadequacies when the boss is in the room, but I was very pleased that Ed (the boss) was there too, making copious notes and modelling that whatever the position in school, everyone has something to learn. He was quiet for most of the session. As often happens, we got on to the subject of choosing how we respond to situations. I stated my position: ‘no one can make you do anything’; I sensed unease in the room. Inviting a challenge, I was told ‘Ed can make us do things’. With a smile and a look of genuine surprise he responded ‘Can I?’ as though someone had just revealed to him magical powers of which he was previously unaware.

At the end of the session, it became apparent how closely he had listened to his staff’s concerns: to how they found it hard to leave things, even though they know the job is never done; how hard it is for them to leave ‘early’ (defined by them as anything over an hour-and-a-half after the end of the school day) because of feelings of guilt; how difficult it is to spend less time marking even when being encouraged to do so by the SLT; how hard it is to say ‘no’, look after yourself and ask for help. At the end of the session, he summarised the learning with 10 Ls of wellbeing. They were unique to that session and that school, yet also highlight a number of experiences which are common to all schools I work with. I share them with you with his blessing.

Ten Ls of Wellbeing – for teachers everywhere

Learn to live with the undone (after all the job will never be finished)
Live and let live (support each other in work and well-being, ‘Have a great evening!’ rather than ‘Leaving early?’ will be so positive to hear)
Leaving buddies (walking out with a friend may make that ‘early’, end of day, departure easier)
Limiting time for tasks helps to create focus (we can achieve more in less time, leading to more time to do less – or different)
Lists (help us when we can prioritise the content and act on it, including the dull things we may choose to avoid)
Let’s say ‘No!’ (sometimes we have to be sensible with what we take-on for others)
Learn something new (maybe a skill, maybe about yourself, maybe to do something differently)
Look for support (before you need it, because it will help you and it can encourage and empower others too)
Look after yourself (because you are worth it and others will benefit)
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, the fruit of the Spirit – our values – let’s live them.

Changing the habits of a lifetime is tough and we will often fail. With support from those around us (and especially leaders who model behaviour they want to see in others) we can change the culture where working hard and working long are regarded as synonymous.

The post How many LLs in WeLLbeing? first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.

How many of us make a point of noting the good things that happen daily?  Often we dwell on the mistakes we’ve made,  the challenging conversations, or the difficult encounters.   No wonder we can sometimes feel as though the job is tough and we’re never enough.  We hang on to bad memories much more easily than good ones, because in evolutionary terms they were there to ensure our survival.   Memories of things which threaten our survival help us to avoid putting ourselves in harm’s way in the future (which, incidentally, is why it’s hard to approach with an open mind someone who has caused us hurt in the past).  Fear kept our ancestors safe.

One of the things that undermines our resilience is the sense of powerlessness: that we can’t affect what’s going on around us.  Here’s my challenge for #MemoryMarch: every day write down something positive that happened today which you had a hand in: a student who thanked you; a light-bulb moment for a child in your class; a grateful parent; a difficult meeting handled well.

At the end of the week review your list and remind yourself that every day, you make a difference.

The post #MemoryMarch first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.

It makes sense and it’s sort of what we always knew, but how many of us are actually conscious of our body language, minute by minute, particularly if we’re feeling vulnerable, fearful of a difficult conversation, for example?   Fear is a powerful emotion and powerful emotions reduce our ability to think rationally.  Therefore we need to develop the habit of noticing what and how our bodies are communicating, and consciously choosing to arrange our bodies to communicate the emotion that will support us to achieve the outcome we seek.

Now here’s the really mind-blowing bit  …  think how much time we spend interacting with screens of one sort or another.  Sit in a waiting room or on a tube and notice how many people are bent (head/eyes down, elbows in, shoulders forward) over a mobile phone.  Could this have an impact on our assertiveness? wondered Amy.  So with social psychologist Maarten Bos she did the experiment, testing individuals’ assertiveness after 5 minutes  interacting with electronic devices with screens of different sizes.  You can read the detail in chapter 8.  The findings upheld her hypothesis. While 94% of desktop users took the initiative to seek out the experimenter who was (deliberately) late returning to the room to pay them,  only 50% of those using smartphones did so.  The smaller the device, the longer they were prepared to wait.

Now think teenagers, mobile phones and cyber bullying, and imagine what impact it has to read a bullying message when in a powerless pose.  Could this knowledge about body language and assertiveness help victims of cyber bullying?  If confidence supports learning, what could be the impact of pupils counteracting the unconsciously powerless pose associated with texting, with the powerful and assertive pose of, for example, the victory-V raised-arm shape that (according to Amy Cuddy) is universal across all cultures, as a sign of success.

As I delve further into Amy’s research I am reflecting on a comment by the headteacher of Bemrose state school in Derby who was partnered with the head of Warminster independent school in the TV programme School Swap: The Class Divide. She noticed ‘The calm leisurely way the young people are strolling around the grounds …  they’ve already got that Oxford walk of relaxed nonchalance’.

A quick google search suggests awards for deportment are a thing of the past (at least in this country).  What difference might it make to our students’ attainment if, instead of testing and re-testing until they get the right answers, we focused on helping them to choose supportive body language  instead?

The post Self-esteem, teens & screens first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.

It works like this

• when you pay attention to your own wellbeing,  you have more energy,
• when you have more energy, you’re more able to take control,
• when you take control, you’re more able to make decisions which balance your short AND long term needs; that includes taking care of your wellbeing .. which has a positive impact on your levels of energy etc …

I prefer the original New Economics Foundation’s  (nef)  ‘give’ to the idea of ‘volunteer’.  We can all give to others.  I struggle with the word ‘volunteer’ because it sounds very structured and many of us haven’t the space for giving to others in this more structured way.

In case you missed it, here it is again.  Full details are on the nef website

Connect There is strong evidence that feeling close to and valued by other people is a basic need for functioning well in the world’

Be Active Regular exercise is related to lower rates of depression and anxiety and can help to counter age-related cognitive decline

Take Notice Savouring the moment can help to affirm your priorities and value the present rather than living in the past or the future

Keep Learning Remaining curious and interested in new things enhances your sense of purpose

Give Individuals who are interested in helping others are statistically more likely to describe themselves as happy

However, there’s something missing.  What NEF doesn’t talk about is the importance of sleep.  During the past 3 months or so, I’ve come to realise that without the right amount of sleep we’re unlikely to be able to sustain our practice.

On a whim, I bought a ticket to the ResearchEd conference in London last year.  I’d never been to one and didn’t know what to expect.  I heard some great speakers among whom was Penny Lewis talking about sleep.  I bought her book as a result.  It’s a great insight into what happens to the brain while we sleep – and by implication, what happens when we don’t.

Sleep is restorative. Well, who didn’t know that?  But do we pay enough attention to its importance?  In the words of Brene Brown, do we get up in the morning feeling we haven’t had enough sleep and go to bed at night thinking we haven’t got enough done?  As I became more tired last term, my resolve to continue my 5-a-day pledges weakened.  Developing new habits like 5-a-day means overwriting old ones, but a bit like when you re-save something on your computer, the old version doesn’t go away, it’s just hidden.

When I’m tired it was easy to slip back into unhelpful habits:

Connect: less connection with others (as an introvert, I get my energy from being alone);

Be active: more reasons not to go to the gym (dark mornings telling me it’s night time; warm bed telling me I hadn’t had enough sleep);

Take notice: what I  notice when I’m tired is that I lose things more easily. (Okay, that’s also an age thing, I know).  Memory suffers through lack of sleep, and through lack of the right type of sleep.   I waste time looking for things I put down without paying attention,  and I forget things so I have to check and double-check. Thanks to the course on mindfulness, I do still practise mindful walking, or notice the early blossom on the magnolia tree in the churchyard, but structured reflection time has fallen victim to a sense of being ‘too busy’;

Keep learning: sleep reinforces memory, a crucial function in learning new skills;

Give: I have to confess that some of the tiredness was brought on by additional pressures of my voluntary role.   Giving to others is important, and teachers do it all the time; but when it is at the expense of acting in our own best interests, we need to stop and review things.

So

S L E E P

is my first priority.  We achieve nothing if we don’t take control of our own agenda, and we need to do that in order to get enough sleep …

In my mind 5-a-day should be followed by no. 6:  ensuring the right amount of sleep

So here’s my +1 which will help me to achieve my 5-a-day

• Turn off my computer (yes really, turn it off) by a specific time each evening.  Blue light from screens tells my brain it’s time to be awake
• Turn off my mobile likewise, so I’m not tempted to check emails even though my computer is off
• Have a specific regular time by which I want to be in bed and congratulate myself when I achieve it
• Know that sometimes it’s okay to go to the gym in the evening (yes, that was a surprising revelation to me: that I could actually change my habit of visiting first thing or not at all)
• Don’t drink alcohol or caffeine in the evenings – especially important if I’m going to work the next day
• Every day, congratulate myself when I achieve these things.  Sleep reinforces emotional memories.  If I don’t ‘take notice’ when I’m achieving success (albeit on a limited scale) how will I know I’m making progress?  We all need positive feedback.  In leadership sometimes we have to give it to ourselves.

The post #Teacher5aday: the missing ingredient first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.