I guess it helped that it was my second session working with the teachers at Bishop Henderson Church of England Primary School.  They were open and honest and working with them was a joy.  I was reminded again that, although every context is different, there are many common themes concerning what gets in the way of teachers looking after themselves. It’s always a challenge to speak openly about what we may regard as our own inadequacies when the boss is in the room, but I was very pleased that Ed (the boss) was there too, making copious notes and modelling that whatever the position in school, everyone has something to learn. He was quiet for most of the session. As often happens, we got on to the subject of choosing how we respond to situations. I stated my position: ‘no one can make you do anything’; I sensed unease in the room. Inviting a challenge, I was told ‘Ed can make us do things’. With a smile and a look of genuine surprise he responded ‘Can I?’ as though someone had just revealed to him magical powers of which he was previously unaware.

At the end of the session, it became apparent how closely he had listened to his staff’s concerns: to how they found it hard to leave things, even though they know the job is never done; how hard it is for them to leave ‘early’ (defined by them as anything over an hour-and-a-half after the end of the school day) because of feelings of guilt; how difficult it is to spend less time marking even when being encouraged to do so by the SLT; how hard it is to say ‘no’, look after yourself and ask for help. At the end of the session, he summarised the learning with 10 Ls of wellbeing. They were unique to that session and that school, yet also highlight a number of experiences which are common to all schools I work with. I share them with you with his blessing.

Ten Ls of Wellbeing – for teachers everywhere

Learn to live with the undone (after all the job will never be finished)
Live and let live (support each other in work and well-being, ‘Have a great evening!’ rather than ‘Leaving early?’ will be so positive to hear)
Leaving buddies (walking out with a friend may make that ‘early’, end of day, departure easier)
Limiting time for tasks helps to create focus (we can achieve more in less time, leading to more time to do less – or different)
Lists (help us when we can prioritise the content and act on it, including the dull things we may choose to avoid)
Let’s say ‘No!’ (sometimes we have to be sensible with what we take-on for others)
Learn something new (maybe a skill, maybe about yourself, maybe to do something differently)
Look for support (before you need it, because it will help you and it can encourage and empower others too)
Look after yourself (because you are worth it and others will benefit)
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, the fruit of the Spirit – our values – let’s live them.

Changing the habits of a lifetime is tough and we will often fail. With support from those around us (and especially leaders who model behaviour they want to see in others) we can change the culture where working hard and working long are regarded as synonymous.

The post How many LLs in WeLLbeing? first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.

Dear Vicki Davis (aka The CoolCatTeacher)

I’ve only just found your blog If I’m such a great teacher, why do I want to quit?   I’m sorry to be slow.  It took a long time to cross the pond.  I will now join the 100,000 followers.  I heard your cry and I want to tell you – like lots of your followers:  I’ve listened.   You and they know you’re not alone.  In fact, feeling as you were last April might even be normal.

Just because it’s normal, doesn’t mean it’s how it should be.

I don’t teach in a school.  I work with teachers – and more often school leaders. Sometimes standing on the touch-line allows me to see more of the game.  What I see is that schools are full of people who invest not just time and energy in teaching, they invest themselves, too.  They may not be perfectionists (and if they are, they will certainly be heading for burnout) but they live in a world where nothing is ever enough.  Scarcity breeds fear.   Fear gets in the way of becoming our best selves.  Helping someone else to realise their potential at the expense of your own is a poor choice, and when society demands that of us we need to say ‘no’.

I’ve just read your 12 Choices to help you step back from burnout.  It’s great.   Keep choosing to do the things that help you to stay healthy. But I want to say when we are exhausted, we lose the power to choose.  When we’re exhausted, we have no energy.  We need as much energy to stop doing something as we do to start.  So if we have no energy, and no power to choose – no ability to be our own advocate – we’re likely to get stuck on automatic pilot when actually, maybe what we need to do is to land the plane and take a short vacation.  Maybe you don’t need to quit.  What would happen if you pulled into a layby and thought about yourself?  What would happen if, instead of focusing so hard on helping others, you focused on helping yourself when you need it?

Then we get on to core beliefs …  How does this sit with your core beliefs and values?  How far do you value your own intrinsic worth – not your worth because you can be helpful to others, but the wonder that is you, body mind and spirit?  How often do you say to yourself ‘Today, I am enough’?

The term has just started.  You’re feeling resilient.  You know things will look different  by the time everyone gets to Christmas. Like runners in a marathon, you have to get through to the finish.  Why not make a pact with someone now?  When they see you hitting that wall which runners hit, get them to promise to ask you ‘are you sure you want to push through this?  Maybe your body is trying to tell you something’.  If your calling is to look after others, then put the oxygen mask on yourself before the plane spirals out of control.

Yours with great respect

Julia

PS Thanks for inspiring me to write this blog.

The post To CoolCatTeacher – and anyone else trying to balance doing their best with being their best first appeared on Chrysalis Leadership Development.